Jacob Grier, staff writer
Friday, June 25, 2004
ARLINGTON, VA -- On Thursday, June 24, 2004, twenty-eight year-old Arlington resident Kevin Phillips became the first person to completely fill his quota on Google's new e-mail service, Gmail. By providing users with an entire gigabyte of storage space, Gmail is designed to relieve them of having to constantly delete mail from their Web-based e-mail accounts. But for heavy users like Kevin, "Sometimes one gig just isn't enough."
According to Google executive Julian Aldridge, Kevin is the first user to come up against the one gigabyte limit since the service's beta launch just over two months ago. He accomplished this feat a mere three days after accepting an invitation to test Gmail. "We thought it had to be an error," said Aldridge. "We never expected anyone to reach the limit this soon. But when we checked the server logs, we saw that this was no mistake. We were in shock and, frankly, a bit disgusted."
The secret to Kevin's success? "Porn," says Aldridge. "Ungodly amounts of porn."
* 2,456 adult pictures
* 173 adult movies
* 22 cartoon renderings of D. C. weblogger Wonkette
* 8 letters from his imaginary girlfriend, Robyn
* 7 letters from his mother, Lisa
* 5 responses to his posts on Craig's List "missed connections"
* 4 pictures of his dog, Rascal
* 3 dirty jokes from his best friend, Chuck
* 1 order confirmation for 20 lbs. of Omaha Steaks
Kevin, who is currently "between jobs," thinks he should be recognized for his achievement. "I've never been first at anything before, but now I feel like I've accomplished something," he says. "I wonder if Google will send me a t-shirt or something." Google has declined to comment.
Kevin's parents are also proud. "This is the best thing he done since he graduated middle school," beams his father, Roy Phillips, who lives in Manassas. "I need to get me one of these Gee Mail accounts," he added.
"Oh no you don't!" responds Mrs. Phillips.
Though Kevin seems to be enjoying the spotlight, his celebrity has not come without cost to his personal life. His imaginary girlfriend Robyn, with whom he has contracted through imaginarygirlfriends.com since February, is not pleased with his behavior. "I deal with a lot of losers on this job, but when e-mails to a guy's Gmail account start bouncing back because it's full of porn, even I get depressed," she reports. "I'm thinking it may be time to put an end to this imaginary relationship."
Despite this personal setback, Kevin is optimistic about the future. "I hear that after you've been a member for a while, Google gives you three Gmail invitations to send to whoever you want. I'm gonna send them all to me so I'll have three more accounts. Then I'm gonna try to break my own record."
"That's my boy," says Mr. Phillips. "He's always pushing himself to the limit."
(c) 2004 Jacob Grier.