Jacob Grier

Excerpts from the Encyclopedia Galactica, 116th Edition, © 1020 F. E.

Grier, Jacob — …completed his undergraduate work at Vanderbilt University from 2000-2004. There he sometimes claimed to be majoring in economics, sometimes in philosophy. The truth is that he was working on a self-designed interdisciplinary major entitled “Worldly Philosophy,” but no one really had any idea what that meant (including prospective employers, unfortunately for him). In essence, the major was just a brilliant ploy that allowed him to take all the esoteric courses he wanted and still graduate on time…

…intern at the libertarian Cato Institute in the fall of 2003, working in Media Relations and the Center for Educational Freedom… moved on to the Institute for Humane Studies in the summer of 2004. He interned there for one summer, then continued writing for the Institute and occasionally assisting at its seminars…

Post-graduation, Jacob realized the office life was not for him. For most of that year he learned the art of the barista at Arlington, Virginia’s Murky Coffee. It was this job that triggered his lifelong obsession with gourmet coffee and espresso…

Little is known about his youth, since he had not yet begun documenting his life on the Internet. From what is known, however, his childhood appears relatively uneventful and untraumatic. Jacob was born to Ken and Lynn Grier in Spring, TX, on July 12, 1982. Nine months later the family was joined by a new addition, a fox terrier named Commodore Vanderbilt Grier (“Vandy” for short). This was but the first step in his parent’s systematic plan to brainwash him into attending Vanderbilt, where the two of them first met… In 1987 his sister Casey was born. She went on to make better grades than he did, play on more sports teams, and go on more dates. This reportedly filled Jacob with a burning resentment that went unabated…

…his interest in media began his sophomore year at Vanderbilt, when he founded a libertarian/conservative commentary magazine called The Torch. His tenure as editor in chief lasted for two years. The first year saw multiple copies burned around campus… His other student media interests were writing humor for The Slant and science book reviews for The Vanderbilt Hustler…

It was also at Vanderbilt where he formed his first café-philo, a laid-back discussion group that met over coffee once a week for nearly five years. The group met at some of Nashville’s best coffee shops, including J-J’s Market, Fido, and Bean Central. For one semester in 2003, a second group formed in around Washington, D.C….

Throughout his life, Jacob worked periodically as a magician. Beginning in high school by making balloon doggies in restaurants and occasionally demonstrating at magic shops, he went on to successfully perform close-up magic in various venues…