There’s a new Slant out today. Nothing from me this time, but I did get a promotion from Staff Writer to Doorstop. I’m hoping to make it to Chief Stapling Officer before I graduate in May.
In other news, today’s Hustler has an intriguing op-ed about anal sex. You may be asking if I mean the Larry Flynt Hustler or The Vanderbilt Hustler. I don’t even know anymore. The column is intriguing because 1) it’s in the Opinion section for some reason and 2) the logistics of the glue stick and the bathrobe defy the laws of physics. Accident? My ass!
Speaking of strange sexual fetishes, did you know Martha Stewart has a website up to defend herself from the charges brought against her by the SEC? It’s good, especially the links to articles explaining the injustice of the prosecution. The excellent Reason cover story is oddly missing, however.
Finally, to those of you who think I need to be more actively looking for a job, I think I may have found one. If Mystery can do it, surely I can. So watch out, Scott Baio and all you other washed-up 80s TV stars: all your babe are belong to me. [Link via MagicTalk]

Jacob Grier is a freelance writer, bartender, cocktail consultant, and magician in Portland, Oregon. He writes, eats, and drinks a lot. His articles have appeared in the print or online editions of The Washington Post, The Atlantic, The Los Angeles Times, Reason, The Oregonian, and other publications.