Tallying up the web stats for jacobgrier.com in 2003 reveals the following numbers. People came to my website via these search phrases, among many others:
“jacob grier” — 67
“sabine herold” — 34
I suppose it’s encouraging that on my own website more people came looking for me than for the glamourous French libertarian, but then there’s this comparison:
“sabine herold picture” — 27
“sabine herold photos” — 12
“sabine herold photo” — 1
“jacob grier picture” — 0
“jacob grier photos” — 0
“jacob grier photo” — 0
Am I not also worthy of objectification? Must every visitor to my weblog come to read and not to look? Am I doomed by gender stereotypes to be judged always by my mind and never by superficial appearances? Damn it, is there no justice in the world?!
If this situation doesn’t improve, I may just have to pose in a Vanderbilt Torch thong.
And I know we don’t want that to happen.
Jacob Grier is a freelance writer, bartender, cocktail consultant, and magician in Portland, Oregon. He writes, eats, and drinks a lot. His articles have appeared in the print or online editions of The Washington Post, The Atlantic, The Los Angeles Times, Reason, The Oregonian, and other publications.
Hey, I’m up for seeing Jacob in the thong!! Who’s with me?
yeah, i’d go for checking out the goods.
Noooooooo! Is there nothing good and decent left in the world? NOT seeing Jacob Grier in a thong was one of the fundamental freedoms our nation was founded upon.
Ben, what are they teaching you at Duke Law? You’ve got the history completely backwards. The 9th Amendment was clearly written with thong modeling in mind. Even Thomas Jefferson is known to have remarked, “It does me no injury to see Jacob Grier in a thong. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.”
Jacob, you would move up two spots in the “Best Dressed In The Office” poll if you posed in that thong…
About that thong, always remember that little things mean a lot!