Great moments in heterosexuality, pt. 2

What is it about latte art that just destroys my masculinity?

Chad and I are hanging out at the coffee shop. I’m chatting with a girl when Chad walks up with a rather sad looking latte.

Chad: “What’s with this?”

Me: “That doesn’t look too good. Who made that?”

Chad: [Points to the barista at the bar.]

Me: “That’s weird. She’s usually good. Oh well, nobody bats a hundred.”

Chad: [Starts to say something, thinks better of it.]

Chad, several hours later: “I do appreciate the effort, but just so you know, you should probably avoid trying to use sports metaphors in front of women.”

Me: “Damn it!”


  1. anonymous says:

    bats a thousand, not bats a hundred

  2. Jacob Grier says:

    Yes, that was Chad’s point.

  3. Mike says:

    I think we all owe a great debt to anonymous, who explained the joke that everyone else got.

    I’m still ridiculously amused at the question that opens this point.

  4. Zhubin says:

    Well, Chad probably couldn’t make an accurate latte art metaphor, so you’ve got him there.

  5. Chad says:

    *tries to figure out how to use ‘poorly tamped puck’ as a metaphor*

    *hangs head*

  6. Chad says:

    *realizes Jacob will invariably point out that the art itself relies on the steamed milk and has nothing to do with the density of the puck*

    *hangs head*

  7. Amy says:

    It took me a moment to recognize Jacob’s error. Maybe his flirtation would work on women. Well at least me.

    *also hangs head*

  8. Jacob Grier says:

    *wishes he was wasting time at JJ’s too.*

    *also hangs head*

  9. Mike says:

    It suddenly occurs to me that you never would have been given a chance to make the error if Chad hadn’t intruded on your game. For shame, Mr. Wilcox.

  10. Chad says:

    You could be right, Mike, except for one central flaw in your reasoning: namely, that there was some sort of “game” being practiced by Jacob prior to my arrival.

    Moreover, I introduced coffee into the conversation — it’s not my fault Jacob decided to stray from his comfort zone and use a sports reference :)

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