What is it about latte art that just destroys my masculinity?
Chad and I are hanging out at the coffee shop. I’m chatting with a girl when Chad walks up with a rather sad looking latte.
Chad: “What’s with this?”
Me: “That doesn’t look too good. Who made that?”
Chad: [Points to the barista at the bar.]
Me: “That’s weird. She’s usually good. Oh well, nobody bats a hundred.”
Chad: [Starts to say something, thinks better of it.]
…
Chad, several hours later: “I do appreciate the effort, but just so you know, you should probably avoid trying to use sports metaphors in front of women.”
Me: “Damn it!”
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Jacob Grier is a freelance writer, barista, mixologist, and magician in Portland, OR. He writes, eats, and drinks a lot. His articles have appeared in The Washington Post, Reason Online, The Oregonian, and other publications.
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bats a thousand, not bats a hundred
Yes, that was Chad’s point.
I think we all owe a great debt to anonymous, who explained the joke that everyone else got.
I’m still ridiculously amused at the question that opens this point.
Well, Chad probably couldn’t make an accurate latte art metaphor, so you’ve got him there.
*tries to figure out how to use ‘poorly tamped puck’ as a metaphor*
*hangs head*
*realizes Jacob will invariably point out that the art itself relies on the steamed milk and has nothing to do with the density of the puck*
*hangs head*
It took me a moment to recognize Jacob’s error. Maybe his flirtation would work on women. Well at least me.
*also hangs head*
*wishes he was wasting time at JJ’s too.*
*also hangs head*
It suddenly occurs to me that you never would have been given a chance to make the error if Chad hadn’t intruded on your game. For shame, Mr. Wilcox.
You could be right, Mike, except for one central flaw in your reasoning: namely, that there was some sort of “game” being practiced by Jacob prior to my arrival.
Moreover, I introduced coffee into the conversation — it’s not my fault Jacob decided to stray from his comfort zone and use a sports reference