Great moments in heterosexuality

Cute, flirty female customer: “I love the way you pour the designs into the drinks.”

Me: “Thanks.”

Her: “I’ve been trying to do that at home, but I can’t get the hang of it. What do you do, just steam the milk a whole lot?”

Me: “Well, yeah. But the really important thing is that you get the milk to recirculate over itself, really working the air into it. You know, like you’re making meringue.”

*** crickets ***

Her: [Ooh, he’s gay.]

Me: [Damn it!]

Me: “So, um, have a good day.”

Her: “Yeah, you too.”


  1. Mike says:

    Thank you for this post Jacob. It’s the funniest and most relatable thing I’ve read in a long time.

  2. Ben says:

    This is definitely going in my (long-delayed) blog contest

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