I hate the ABC

Jacob's enemiesVirginia’s Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control is rapidly rising to the top of my enemies list. First it protected Clarendon from the rowdy pinot noir drinkers who weren’t buying enough appetizers at the Best Cellars wine bar (finally reopened, sans bar, btw), then it got in trouble for selling nothing but Virginia wines in its liquor stores, and now it has shut down the beer pong tables at Arlington landmark Dr. Dremo.

Dr. Dremo, located just two blocks from my apartment, is where I lost my Beirut virginity just a few weekends ago. (Astonishingly, I made it through four years of Vanderbilt and two years of IHS and Cato without ever playing beer pong. The tragedies of a misspent youth.) Sure, the beer was bad and the balls were a little unclean, but it was fun, damn it. And given how long it took my friends and I to make our tosses, playing the game probably moderated our alcohol intake. Not that this matters to the busybodies at the ABC. Despite the arbitrariness of their ruling, they saw people having a good time and stepped in to put a stop to it.

In other bad news, Brooke reports that the fight over the smoking ban is essentially over. The city council is going to pass it.

The D.C. area is disadvantaged enough by having the nation’s largest concentration of lawyers, law students, lobbyists, consultants, politicians, regulators, and ass-kissing interns looking for the next big networking opportunity.* Do we really need our local governments making an additional, conscious effort to make this city boring? No, no we don’t.

*I realize that many of my friends reading this blog fit into some of those categories. I didn’t mean you, of course. You’re the fun law students and consultants!

[Hat tip: Chad.]


7 thoughts on “I hate the ABC”

  1. Y’know this blog entry is entirely worth it just for the enemies list.

    Dude, DC has to highest concentration of law students AND regulators! I’m so there!

    By the way, Jacob, how close to DC do you live now? Close enough for me to, say, crash at your place when I come interview with the DC Public Defender? Drop me a line.

  2. Here’s an update for your ABC chronicles. We went to Mexicali Blues today for lunch and they informed us pitchers of margaritas were off the menu. Apparently the department cracked down and informed them that pitchers of beer are okay, as are pitchers of sangria of any concentration, but pitchers containing liquor are off limits.

    I really wanna sit in on the meeting where they set these policies. (For similar arbitrary blasphemy involving smoking, go here.)

  3. You think VA’s liquor laws are silly? Take a trip to Utah sometime. I think the Beehive State could make a lot of money if they promoted their liquor laws as a tourist attraction.

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