Powers on loan from God

Many of you have asked me how I accomplish my feats of magic, and I have always declined to answer or pointed to my magician’s oath of secrecy. Now, alas, the truth is out. I, and every other magician on Earth, have been granted my powers by the deity Christopher Roller of Burnsville, MN. I humbly apologize for not acknowledging his contribution earlier.

[Via The Morning News.]