Finally, Net access in my D. C. apartment! I’ve been here since Friday night and have greatly missed being connected, getting by with a few short trips to a Net café and Kinkos. Life is good, and here are a few lessons I’ve learned so far:
On being a lucky bastard: Sign your lease as soon as you’re ready. I did, and a few days before I left home got a call from my landlord. He’d made a mistake in the lease agreement and had to give me a different apartment – a penthouse studio.
On driving: Always get good directions. I was in Arlington with an hour to spare in which to pick up my apartment key. Forty minutes later, I still had no idea where my building was. Fortunately, a friendly pedestrian saved me from being homeless for the weekend.
On code breaking: A George Foreman Grill. A D. C. United ticket stub. A sack of potatoes. They’re all things the former tenant left behind for me, and together they add up to something. I just don’t know what yet.
On home decorating: Don’t expect too much in a pre-furnished apartment. Most of the furniture is ok, but the bright orange microwave looks more like an i-Mac than an appliance (an i-Macrowave?). I’m also not sure about all the Lance Armstrong newspaper clippings adorning the walls.
On cooking: How the hell did I screw up Jell-O? This does not bode well for my future cooking endeavors.
On the exercise/entertainment center: Before getting excited about it, verify that it didn’t burn down two weeks before move-in. Guess I won’t be returning to Vandy a buff ping-pong master after all.
That’s all for now, my friends (and you complete strangers who somehow end up reading this far).
Jacob Grier is a freelance writer, bartender, cocktail consultant, and magician in Portland, Oregon. He writes, eats, and drinks a lot. His articles have appeared in the print or online editions of The Washington Post, The Atlantic, The Los Angeles Times, Reason, The Oregonian, and other publications.
Glad things are going well for you up in D.C. Jacob. We all missed you at cafe-philo tonight. Would you believe it, both side of the table were having separate conversations at the same time about Iraq. Oh well, talk to you soon!