The editorial column in today’s Vanderbilt Hustler comes from none other than Frank X. Gladu, the Director of Vanderbilt Dining. The headline reads, “Dining director apologizes for score.” At first I thought that meant he’d been caught with a young co-ed, but the score alluded to actually refers to a city health inspection. It turns out Rand Dining Hall has failed inspection with a 48/100 — with 32 of the deducted points for “critical items.” Way to go, Dining!
In his apology letter, Gladu explains, “I really thought they were going to curve that test, so I didn’t prepare enough. With all that grade inflation going on at the Ivy schools, we never get a break! We’re really cramming for the retake though.”
No, wait, that’s the wrong article. That’s from the satire I wrote when Rand failed inspection two years ago with a 69. They’ve dropped 31 points since then. I’ve occasionally felt a touch of guilt for all the times I mocked Gladu in print over the years, but that is now alleviated. He has a tough job and seems like a really nice guy, but this kind of performance should not be rewarded (I suddenly feel like I’m talking about George W. Bush).
So, in honor of Vanderbilt Dining’s accomplishments, here is a retrospective of the past three years:
Dept. of Justice brings anti-trust suit against Vanderbilt Dining Services — Torch satire written with Justin Holmes; the story that gave Gladu the nickname Generalissimo X.
The Lure of the Rand — Tim Boyd’s encomium to Rand’s mastery of British cooking
Rand fails health inspection — My Slant article from the last time this happened
White House demands ‘regime change’ at Rand — Tim reports on the inspections into Operation Botulism
Shock and awe bombing commences in war against Rand extremists — Mike Mott, Ben Stark, and Dan Ortiz report on the beginning of hostilities
A letter from Frank Gladu — “Frank’s” letter to incoming freshmen, in which he unveils the discovery of “carbonation”
Where will Generalissimo X and his Randian minions take us next? Only time — or the next issue of The Slant — will tell.