Indispensably useful stuff

Today’s my twenty-second birthday. Or, as is more fitting for the likely means of celebration, the first anniversary of my turning twenty-one.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Oh dear. It’s my favorite blogger’s birthday and I didn’t get him anything. For shame.” Relieve your conscience with one of these great products that I just can’t live without:

Because my flatmateís decorating is a bit too cheery…

Because Iím lousy at ironing…

Because nobody likes painful nipple abrasion…

Because I canít shower in coffee (no matter how much I want to)…

Because thereís nothing like a tasteful magic effect for picking up the ladies…

Because I already miss the days of Aerobie on the Lawn…

Because Iím tired of the same old burger…

Because I want to make an ironic statement with my lemonade…

Because I have a wicked slice…

Because sometimes I feel a little too big for my britches…

Of course, this is what would really make me happy…

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