First of all, let me thank you, Jacob, for granting me this space on your prestigious weblog. I am truly honored that you chose me to award your very first GMail invitation.
But before we begin, I must clarify one thing. It has been suggested that Jacob and I are one and the same person. I assure all of you that this is not the case, and that Jacob is not taking an extra long lunch break to write this blog entry. I, the Queso Crusader, am writing this from my Cantina of Solitude, which is not located anywhere near the center cubicle on the fourth floor of the George Mason Law School in Arlington, VA. Really, it’s not.
So now that that’s cleared up, on to the contest entries for the best Queso Crusader and Taco Boy movie title!
Nick: The Fellowship of the Taco. Thanks for getting things started, Nick. That was my favorite of your three entries, yet not of all the entries. Better luck next time!
Mike: Queso Crusader: Say Cheese! Say Cheese? This isn’t some buddy flick like Sunshine Cassidy and the Hop-Scotch Kid, Mikey. Taco Boy and I are mortal enemies. Maybe that title would work for me and Dr Pepper Man… driving across Texas, dancing with senoritas to the rhythms of the mariachi bands, stopping in Dublin for a case of the good stuff… But not me and that maniacal Taco Boy.
Mike #2: The Quest for the Porcelain God. Not a bad idea, but I find the porcelain god about two hours after every bout with Taco Boy. I’ll give you Second Runner Up.
Moving right along… Qin Lan Xiao says, “I want a GMail account. Please send me one.” Qin, your lack of creativity insults me. Not only am I not giving you the invite, but I’m going to do everything within my power to ensure that you never receive one. Happy Hotmailing, Qin!
“Wrath” suggests Queso Crusader: Finding my GMail (Or was that my G-Spot?!) Trust me Wrath, you’d know if it was the latter. Just ask Feta Girl about that night in the Swiss Alps after we finally apprehended the Fondue Fondler… or any of the peasants caught in the resulting avalanche.
Time to wrap this up. An honorable mention goes to Chris Duben for A Man and his Taco. First Runner Up goes to Taco Boy himself. Though it pains me to award him, I can’t deny that Queso Crusader: Questionable Alliance would make one hell of a film. Suspense, ethical dilemmas, a final battle with floods of cheese and fire sauce – that movie would have it all. Good work, T. B.
And now, First Place and the GMail account invitation go to…
David Barzelay, who came up with this series of ten great movie titles:
Queso Crusader: First Blood… And By Blood We Mean Cheese
Queso Crusader 2: This Time It’s Not Just About The Nachos
Queso Crusader Cubed: Chile Con Muerte
Queso Crusader 4: Taco Boy and The Time Machine That Only Transports Mexican Food
Queso Crusader Part 5: With Great Salsa Comes Great Responsibility
Queso Crusader 6: You’re Gonna Have Gas Tomorrow
Queso Crusader 7: Queso Crusader Has An Identity Crisis But Resumes His Role As Vigilante Just In Time To Defeat Yet Another Incarnation Of Taco Boy
Queso Crusader, The Ocho: Taco Boy Goes To Hell
Queso Crusader 9: The Golden Tortilla Of Chichen Itza
Queso Crusader X: Queso Crusader Versus the US Border Patrol
I can’t wait for number eight, Mr. Barzelay. A GMail invitation covered in hot, spicy cheese is on its way to your inbox!
Thanks to everyone else for playing. I have to run. I hear that Feta Girl could use a hand rounding up Gavin and the Gordita Gang…