a) a lame mixed drink with way too much fruit juice in it
b) an offense punishable by several years in prison in Dubai
c) an illegal cocktail in Britain
d) all of the above
If you answered “d,” you may soon be right! Proposed regulations in Britain will ban the sale of drinks that could be seen as enhancing “social, sexual, physical, mental, financial or sporting performance,” which could presumably forbid names like “Sex on the Beach” from appearing on bar menus. Other potential changes include banning free drink giveaways to women, restricting free samples, putting an end to drinking games, displaying warning labels about the dangers of excessive consumption, imposing a floor price for drinks, and, most tackily, requiring that wine glasses bear volume markers.
In other news, Orkney MP Alistair Carmichael has stood up in Parliament for Skull Splitter, the deliciously heavy Scottish ale under fire for its “violent” viking connotations. Its fate remains undecided, but it’s safe to say that if Thorfinn were in charge we wouldn’t have to deal with all this nonsense. The beer would flow plentifully and no one would bother with a Sex on the Beach anyway.
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Jacob Grier is a freelance writer, barista, mixologist, and magician in Portland, OR. He writes, eats, and drinks a lot. His articles have appeared in The Washington Post, Reason Online, The Oregonian, and other publications.
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Definitely not saying it should be required, but volume markers on glasses would be great! There would be a period of transition when people didn’t really know how to use them, but it would eventually help change things from “But I don’t feel drunk” to “But I’ve only had 6 ounces of wine, 12 ounces of beer, and 1.5 ounces of 80 proof liquor.” Which is still rather complicated and–I know–doesn’t directly translate to any drunkenness level. But it’s still probably a lot more accurate a generalization than “No, dude, I’m good to drive.”