Secondhand smoke causes zombification

by Jacob Grier on September 10, 2008

Defending Pennsylvania’s new statewide smoking ban, PA health department spokesman Holli Senior says:

Senior noted that more than 20,000 Pennsylvania adults die each year from their own smoking and approximately 300,000 Pennsylvanians under the age of 18 die either directly or indirectly because of smoking.

Nationally, it is estimated that between 1 million and 3 million adult non-smokers die each year from exposure to second-hand smoke, noted Senior.

As Michael Siegel notes, these numbers are absolutely absurd. In Pennsylvania there are about 125,000 deaths each year from all causes. Nationally there are about 2.5 million. Thus there’s no way these figures are even close to correct. His conclusion? Secondhand smoke is essentially, but not technically killing people, resulting in hordes of zombies walking among us. Either that or anti-smoking activists will now say any crazy thing they please to get their way.

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Jeff 09.10.08 at 1:52 pm

BRAAAAAAAINS!!!!

/no one else had said it yet…

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Jacob Grier 09.10.08 at 1:53 pm

Oh no, the smoke got to Jeff! He never should have gone to Carolina!

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Jeff 09.11.08 at 3:28 pm

Q: What happens when zombies have kids?

A: The kids stay up all night crying.

/falls asleep while typi

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